tamponblog

As I disrobed to take my shower this morning, I was laughing at how there are three parts of disposable pad to remove first: one "down there" and two breast pads... but, at least I don't have cabbage in my bra. Actually, as the author states, it is apparently a wonderful thing. But, I've not tried it. Wonder if cabbage can de-bag eyes? Cucumber is pretty soothing for the eyes and has a nice smell. Smelling the cabbage might be a different story. Is it zucchini or cucumber that apparently clears up pores?

Veggies are amazing things.

I once had it explained to me this way, and it is the way that I explain it to every boyfriend I have had since:

When my hormones affect my mood or emotions, they amplify what already exists, they don't make up new situations.  This means that any problems I have when I'm "pms-ing" are problems I already have and just haven't shared, or haven't shared as openly.  Some people even say that the hormone levels women have at PMS are most similar to men's normal hormone levels; that we are at our most hormonally-male. 
Sometimes my hormones make me misrepresent the intensity of my feelings about an issue or a problem; when that happens, I will let you know.  Otherwise, any dismissal on your part of my thoughts and feelings based on your diagnosis of my hormone level will be considered what it is: a dismissal of my thoughts and feelings.

This, of course, necessitates having a boyfriend who will listen to all of that. But you can be damned sure that I say it.  Please note, however, I DO promise in there that I will point out "hormonal overages", and I did that just last night.  I believe my exact words, through the sobbing, were, "I'm really not this upset about it; imagine I'm not crying, okay?"

NSF's thought about the "fear of having justifiable work-related irritation written off as PMS" below (in the comments section) reflects something I think about a lot after having an argument with someone or after my husband asks "is something wrong?" or "you look mad" or anything of that nature.

Sometimes, yes, it is probably hormones making me more sensitive to certain circumstances. But at the same time, there are frequently circumstances that warrent reaction. Perhaps if I am not "PMSing", I can compose myself enough to not show emotion about a particular situation on the outside, but that doesn't necessarily mean the situation is "okay."  And sometimes I have an outward reaction about a situation that occurs nowhere near my period.

I'll double-guess myself: does the situation really matter, or is my reaction to it hormone-induced? (Am I expecting my period in a couple days? Am I ovulating? Is there some other reason that I am more sensitive? ... Or is this a genuine reaction?)

A couple days ago, my husband actually said to me (while I was crying) "Is there something wrong, or is it just hormones?"  He then laughed and said, "Bet that makes the blog!" Clearly, he was just joking with me... but there is definitely some truth to what he was asking.

It is frustrating that sometimes  (frequently?) women aren't taken seriously because "Aw, she's probably just PMSing."  And yet, sometimes it is true... where the emotional self takes over the rational self - but what if the rational self actually agrees with the emotional self: how to know when it is appropriate?

As a psuedo-aside... as a youngster, I was determined to have chemical sensitivity to particular things, so avoided eating or using products with those chemicals (read about it at the Feingold Association website) Basically, I became hyper, more emotional, etc. when I ingested certain chemicals. So when I would cry or be very angry, etc., my parents would automatically assume that I had cheated on my diet... but what if I really was angry, or very sad, etc? It was difficult to be legitimately stressed out about something, and then have my mom assume not only that my reaction wasn't warranted, but that I had cheated on my diet (when I hadn't.)  So it is a similar situation to the whole PMS issue.

You're at work. You need to go to the restroom with a feminine product. You have no pockets. Do you stick your tampon/pad/whatever up your sleeve or in the waist of your pants? Do you close your fist around it? Do you head to the restroom carrying your purse? Do you make no effort to be discreet? Does who you have to pass on the way make a difference?

My powder really let me down. I was recently in an outdoor, summer wedding. I started out with okay makeup, but I just kept sweating. I used oil-absorbing sheets, and I wiped off the sweat as much as I could, but I stayed flushed and sweaty. So, I kept piling on the powder. The problem is, my powder is (or rather, was) Clean & Clear Shine Control Invisible Powder, which has a blue tint to counteract any redness in the skin. By the end of the evening, judging from the photos, I had a really eerie blue tint. Not Smurf blue, and not blue like Zhaan from Farscape, but a very pale blue haze.
It probably wouldn't have been as obvious if I were not very, very fair-skinned.
So now I need a new powder. Or to stop worrying about looking shiny in pictures in the summer.

At many Chinese food restaurants, the chopsticks come in a wrapper that outlines directions for how to use the chopsticks.
When served lobster, especially as part of a cookout or other large group, there are usually placemats instructing you how to break/eat the lobster.
Nobody seems to be put off or insulted by this, and I think the key here is that it's assumed that the instructional items are not any kind of hint to the patron, but just part of the wrapping.
Maybe what weddings need is to have some kind of innocuous wrapped item that people get that reminds them of what they should do.  Just like with chopsticks or lobster placemats, it helps the guest know what's expected.  I'm thinking this is a project for the maids of honor of the world - figure out how to tastefully get guests to behave well.
Maybe if the info is printed in small type across the back of all envelopes and invitations, like a background/wallpaper kind of thing?

Unplugged, I think I also remember being able to rely on the hostess to keep track of who is eating what. Of course, the concept of picking out your meal ahead of time is relatively new, but we can only fight the system so much. I think that the problem really arises when you don't have a place card that can be color-coded in some way for the waiters, just a card to tell you which table to sit at. Our generation would pitch hissy fits if they weren't seated RIGHT NEXT TO their date. God forbid they wouldn't be able to play footsie or argue over whose turn it is to empty the kitty litter box during dinner and would have to -gasp- make charming conversation with strangers and acquaintances. If you were to tell people exactly which chair to sit in, the etiquette books would tell you to mix up the couples and personalities. But you can count on 20-somethings trading places with each other to sit near their dates. So, the modern custom is to just assign people to tables, and those cards are a little harder to creatively code with meals, and no magazine or banquet manager ever reminds the bride to think it through.

At a wedding I was in recently, there was a table of bud vases (the favor) with little ribbons tying on little cards with each guest's name and table number. The cards were made of vellum and card stock, and the vellum was color-coded for the meal, so the waiters never had to ask us to remember. There was a lesson to be learned about fresh flowers (or anything that has to be refrigerated) making table cards WAY too complicated, but the color coding system was great.

Still, that's the only wedding I've been to recently that I wasn't asked to remember what I ordered when I promptly rsvped 6-8 weeks earlier. Including my own wedding. So my new system is to order one each of the two non-vegetarian options, knowing that inevitably Mr. not-so-fresh and I will each prefer what the other has and trade.

I think I will blame Hippie Parents for this generation's disasterous disgrace in non-RSVPing. Hippie Parents who rejected social traditions, and in so doing, denied their children an education therein.
But I don't think it excuses the behavior, because even most Hippie Parents taught their children to read, and the invitations do SAY to RSVP. So maybe it's not them.

I like MissManners' suggestion to cut the offenders from the list. Unfortunately, or rather, Hopefully, nobody has more than one Bridal Shower, so what we really need is a Master Blacklist of RSVP Offenders.
For your first offense, you get a verbal warning (a phone call following up)
Second offense: a third party sends you a handwritten card kindly informing you about how important RSVPs are to the host/ess.
Third offense: no more polite society for you, you thoughtless douchebag. You're blacklisted. Didn't you take the hints?

That said...
Here's my weakness - at absolutely every wedding I attend, I forget what I ordered for my meal. I mean, I did send back that RSVP, and it was a long time ago, and it's when I sent back the RSVP for all the weddings, back in late spring when they arrive and I do my summer schedule.
And I'm not the only one: A fellow I was sitting next to at a wedding recently, when asked what he had ordered for his entree, responded, I think I had the Prime Rib. I reminded him that at this wedding, the options were only Vegetarian or Salmon. He had a good excuse, though; this was his fourth wedding this summer.
And that is when this idea popped into my head, to employ for all weddings I get invited to in the future:
I DO SOLEMNLY PROMISE that when I fill out the RSVP with my entree choice, I will record said choice in or on the invitation itself, which is always kept with the directions, and always brought in my purse to the wedding.
This will change everything!

(Wasn't there once a time when your seating card included what you ordered? Or am I making that up? I seriously think I recall the entree being listed with my table number, but the last time that happened was years ago.)

Wow. The Miss Manners column today really sounded familiar to me. The "Gentle Reader's" sister had thrown a bridal shower, and the percentage who didn't bother to rsvp was pretty appalling.

The part that really horrified me was that when my sister would finally contact one of the people who hadn't responded, they would act like it was somehow her bad manners to have asked them to respond in the first place. (I want to make clear that these reminders were upbeat and gentle.) The comments fell into several categories, but the most offensive was "I haven't decided yet, I might go to another party. You should relax." This was three days before the event.

I threw a lovely bridal shower recently where I really did need to know how many people were coming. I was borrowing folding chairs, because I didn't want anyone to have to sit on my floor in a skirt. We ate on real plates with real silverware, but I only had enough silverware for the exact number who'd rsvp'd. Two high school friends of the bride ignored my phone calls and emails asking if they were coming, and I nearly had a heart attack when they arrived. (A grace under fire, perfect hostess, invisible heart attack, of course!) When the godmother of the bride didn't rsvp, I called twice. She totally blew me off two days before the shower, saying that she had a prior engagement but would try to come. Her tone of voice implied that inviting her to the shower, let alone calling to see if she could come, was a huge imposition. It would have been fine for her to just say that unfortunately she had a prior commitment. Did she feel like it would have been rude to say no, and so left it dangling to not hurt anyone's feelings? We also had to delay the meal for almost an hour, because so many people were late. It looked like the whole 20-something generation had never seen a party where the food was more elaborate than chips and salsa and therefore showing up at any given time wasn't important. Of course, that was much easier than the whole family of the bride showing up much earlier than agreed upon, and arriving before I'd gotten dressed!

Gee, I thought new moms were so stressed they couldn't blog. Shut her up already

(Dear husband has the baby and 3 year old son is taking a forced nap, so I am temporarily FREE! Get some sleep! Don't blog!)

Tampons and pads aren't the only absorbant medium necessary for female consumption... there is a whole world of breast pads out there for perusal: disposable, permanent, wool, plastic, cotton, etc.

With my first child, I had some expensive wool pads. I had heard that disposable pads weren't as absorbant and that they were harsher on the sensitive breast. So I went with the wool. The natural lanolin was supposed to soothe the breast and the wool was supposed to be really absorbant. Well, they did work pretty decently - they were a bit itchy, but were otherwise confortable. They were HOT, but that was okay because my first son was a winter baby. But, they weren't exceptionally absorbant; I still had leaks. But I figured that my engorgement, etc. was simply too much for any pad, anyway, so I didn't see this as a flaw.

Well, for my second son, born July 2nd, I didn't want to use the hot wool pads, so I tried Lansinoh's First Days Nursing Pads. I had liked their pure lanolin ointment, so trusted that I could try their disposable pads. I figured if they weren't so good, it wouldn't matter because I'd just double-up or use a lot of the disposable pads during the engorgement period. I didn't want to have to wait for my wool pads to dry out!

The verdict? This product is amazing. No, they didn't pay me to say that. Truly. This product is fantastic. They are indeed "pillow soft" and I have had NO leaks. None. I can tell when I have leaked into the pad because it leaves a little gel inside the body of the pad (like a disposable diaper), but the pad catches everything and stays dry against my breast. Amazing! And the lanolin ointment can go on the pad but won't be absorbed, so the benefit of the ointment remains, while the inconvenience of wet pads is no more!

So... for anyone wondering what to use post-partum, seriously give 'em a try!

Just in case you were wondering (and most of you aren't):

After the first several days post-partum, the aforementioned pad usually stays pretty clean... UNTIL:

1) Breastfeeding causes the uterus to clamp down on itself. This clots the vessels that once led to the placenta. So after one breastfeeding session, it is typically necessary to change the pad.

2) Lifting heavy objects will cause bleeding. "Heavy" has new meaning post-partum. Like my 3 year old son. He didn't used to be heavy. Don't lift heavy objects.

3) This is the fun one... Stress will cause bleeding. It is funny to see what is considered stressful. I will be totally dry, and then something will happen to annoy me (or make me sad, or one of the other fun post-partum emotions) and BINGO! "Gee, I didn't realize that was quite as stressful as my body seems to think it was!" ... "Lemme check your pants to see if you were really as stressed out as you say you are."

Awhile back, we were discussing brand loyalty to tampons. I had jumped in saying that I was definitely loyal to o.b., but at the time, I didn't really consider loyalty to any pads.

This is true primarily because since I use a tampon 99% of the time I have my period, the pad is used just as double-protection in case I leak. (Also, I used pads during pregnancy for stress based incontinence, a fun side effect of having one's bladder pressed on and of the pelvic floor becoming weak after a previous birth.) So the actual type of pad is less important than that there is just something there "just in case."

But after giving birth, a pad is necessary. The extra built-up uterine lining has to leave, and as the blood vessels that once went to the placenta heal, clots and other such fun pieces of tissue, etc. need to exit as well. Since the vaginal area has to heal from giving birth, tampons aren't allowed (for about six weeks.) So a pad it is.

So I have a couple thoughts:

First -- I wonder why hospital length maternity pads are not available commercially. The only reason I can come up with is that these super-long, super-absorbant pads are typically not needed after the first couple days of bleeding, and typically the new mom is still in the hospital at that point. (And the hospital usually lets the patient take home a box.) Still, it would be nice to have the option to purchase these super catch-all pads. (Incidentally, right after birth, using TWO pads along with a huge plastic-backed absorbancy sheet can't catch all the stuff. Nice image, eh?) Also, it is difficult to walk properly with such a large pad, so maybe drugstores and pad manufacturers realize that most new moms don't want to continue the waddle they perfected during the last stages of pregnancy. (Of course, if there are lots of stitches down there, the waddle will remain, but I digress...)

Second -- I never really thought about all the different types of pads out there. I have absolutely no clue which is best for me! I've always just grabbed whatever is at CostCo, or whatever is on sale - no matter the brand, winged or not, dri-weave or cotton, etc. But given that I needed something super-absorbant and long for my lochia, I figured that would be enough information to go on. My mother bought me the first pack of pads: long, super, winged, with dri-weave. She had purchased a generic brand, and therefore they were reasonably priced. They worked perfectly! So then I asked my husband to get the same generic, long, super pack. (At which point, he tilted his head to the side and said, "I must be a good husband to be getting... products... for my wife." Of course, he has never had trouble with picking up such things for me - so he admitted he wanted to be mentioned in the blog!) At any rate, dear husband brought back the generic brand, long, and super... but not dri-weave and without wings. Well, I didn't even think to mention those features because I figured "generic, long, super" would yield only one type of pad. WRONG! Even the generic brand had ten-million versions.

How confusing!

Cherry Jello's post about what women do with their placentas was informative (who knew that a placenta looked like a cross between raw liver and a jelly fish?), funny, and not a little bit gross! Exactly what I think this blog should be. So, I think that we should open up to public voting (via the comments section) what C.J. should do with her own placenta! Naturally, she wouldn't be obligated to follow our suggestions, but I am hoping that she'll at least tell us how it all turns out.

My free sample of o.b. Silk Ease tampons arrived yesterday in the mail.

There are four tampons in the sample to the Dittie's two... so on that, o.b. Silk Ease gets points...

But the Ditties arrived super-fast (much faster than o.b.!) and included stickers, a plastic marketing diary, and other random (though not really needed) trinkets... so on that, Ditties gets points...

So now I just have to wait to try both out to see which gets the points in an actual use situation!