tamponblog

Has anyone here actually seen a woman with a monthly-accident?

I've had many experiences where I have been absolutely sure I am leaking... and a couple times have indeed leaked to the point where someone might see something from the outside...

Yet I've never actually noticed leakage on another woman.

Odd. And yet comforting. Because if I have been nonobservant enough to not notice others' spills, then on the occasions where I've had difficulty, I shouldn't be paranoid.

I have had friends ask me, "Uh... do you see... uh... anything on my backside?" But my answer has always been "no," though I wonder if I were to crouch down to look more between her legs if something might be visible. Not that I want to do that, of course.

Meanwhile, I once sat in a large plate of nachos during a hockey game (my siginficant other's fault for putting the food on my seat while I was standing up cheering)... so I've definitely had visible "salsa ass" in public.

I thought about posting this on my own blog, because it's work-related, but it's too tamponbloggy to go anywhere else but here.

I went to the bathroom earlier today, and while in one of the stalls, I started thinking about how the Napkin Disposal bins are built into the stall partitions in such a way that one bin serves two stalls. That led me to think about how funny it would be if women were pushing in the metal flaps both at the same time, and getting in each other's way, which I've never heard of happening, but it must, it must!
Then the whole thing reminded me of Confession at church; the little sliding door and the grate and all of that.
Very much like.

I've often wondered... those happy, bouncy women in tampon commercials: do they simply have really mild cramps, a high tolerance for pain, or are they really brave (or drunk)?

Some women shrug off menstrual cramps, and others (like me) are typically bedridden. So are the former women braver and stronger, whereas the latter are wimpy? Or do the former really have mild cramps whereas the latter really do experience a more painful situation?

Difference in perception, or difference in reality?

And the same story goes for labor - there are many labor stories abound, from those women who barely felt a thing to others who go through hours/days of pain.

I figure there is a combination of factors and that there are some gals who have really mild cramps who just like the attention of complaining about heavy cramps... and some with heavy cramps who are just so strong and brave that they shrug them off anyway.

But it still makes me wonder how wide the spectrum...

(One of my worst female related memories was at my first gynocological visit for my first pelvic. The doctor, who happened to be female, told me it would be "mildly uncomfortable." When I started to cry - as silently as possible - , she kept saying "It is just mildly uncomfortable!" while shaking her head disapprovingly. Meanwhile, I was thinking it was one of the most painful things I had ever experienced. Was she a loose ho who had never had pain in that area, or was I a whiny wimp?)

Similarly, I wonder about tolerance for other things... Like in relationships: Are Person A's flaws just totally out of line, or is Person B a total bitch who cannot see her own flaws? Is Person B a saint for putting up with Person A, or is she stupid for not voicing her concerns?

I am on a volunteer committee for my alma mater and have been frustrated by my fellow Co-President. But I've sat on my concerns the whole year because I've wondered if I was simply being too sensitive. But finally today I emailed the employee at my alma mater who looks after this particular committee to ask for her advice. She just wrote me back saying that my letter deserves a thoughtful reply and that she'll respond after she has had time to think. Now I am regretting sending the email since I really didn't want to make waves... but since I had considered sending similar emails throughout the entire year, it isn't as though I had done something without thinking. Nonetheless, that self-doubting has got me going. I wonder if my tolerance is low... or whether I have been silly for waiting so long to approach the (perceived) conflict. Meanwhile, my significant other would tell me I am "overthinking things." ;-)

It is like waking up in a mental institution: Am I the one with the problem, or is the person who put me there mistaken? How to prove my sanity if presumed that what I say isn't valid? And what if I really do have a problem, but think that I am sane?

(No, I have never awakened in a mental institution... And I really hope I don't end up with Alzheimer's towards the end of my life. I don't want to be confused and forgetful but assume that all my faculties were intact.)

While you are waiting for those Ditties... you can sign up to get free o.b. silk ease tampons!

Was watching Discovery Health Channel's "Birth Day"... and one woman was giving birth to twins: her ELEVENTH and TWELFTH children.

Talk about being barefoot and pregnant... ALL THE TIME! This is a woman who certainly has clear priorities.

Now, my grandmother came from a family of seven children, where the mom had seven miscarriages, for a total of 14 pregnancies... but I don't think she would have actually had 14 children had the miscarried pregnancies been carried to term (mainly because that would have eaten up a lot of time.)

And my mother-in-law comes from a family of nine kids...

... but in both these cases from generations before, it is clearly a different time. Women married earlier. Birth control was not available and/or allowed.

This woman on the TV show was about 30. I do not know if any of her previous pregnancies were multiples, but the way the doctors were discussing the condition of her uterus, I think she had at least 8 pregnancies to create those 12 children.

The doctors had to tell her that she MUST not get pregnant again.

I'm thinking... where does she get the time to actually become pregnant with so many children around?

(Now this is a lady who doesn't need tampons.)

While reading Newsweek, I came across an ad in the "distance learning showcase" portion of the magazine. A pregnant woman sits in the corner of an empty room with a laptop over her knees. She has a goofy smile on her face and she is barefoot.

The ad is about earning an online degree... then the url to the "college" doesn't actually work. They had linked a secondary page that I suppose has since been removed; visiting their homepage works, but I find it interesting they had advertised a secondary page. But that isn't the point.

The point is: I am thinking...

- The pregnant woman is sitting on the floor. This is stupid. She cannot get up.

- The pregnant woman is sitting on the floor. Can she not afford furniture, and that is why she needs to obtain a degree online: to afford a better job?

- The woman is clearly close to her due date. Is this the time to be researching online universities? Other priorities come to mind.

- Why worry about education now, when you are about to dedicate your life to a kid? This woman will not be able to start any online program for at least 2-3 months after the baby is born. (Especially if she doesn't have a partner around - because if she did, maybe they could afford furniture.)

OK. So earning a degree online is easier than physical commuting, so I can understand why that might appeal to a stay-at-home-mom. But -again- the timing seems a bit off. Seems to me that she would have either put off having kids until after earning her degree... or would have kids and when they are slightly older, look into higher education, either through a physical university or an online program. But to be researching such programs just a month or so away from giving birth seems simply odd.

Is the faraway look in her eyes the complete wonder she has at the knowledge that she can obtain her degree? Most pregnant women I know only get goofy looks when they are thinking about their baby-to-be. Perhaps the baby was a "mistake," and she was so afraid that she would have to put her education on hold for that... but now she realizes she doesn't have to! Never mind that if she were really that into obtaining an education, she probably would have considered brick and mortar places first. But perhaps I am a snob.

That must be it. I am a snob who is offended that an online college would use a barefoot, pregnant woman in their ad. :)

That said, I fully support and admire those who don't let pregnancy interfere with their education (such as teenagers who continue on to finish high-school and possibly go to college.) It is the whole target-audience of this particular ad that has me a bit confused.

(I once saw a community college ad that said "Where you at? Where you wanna be?" And I thought - terrific, the grammar they teach is impeccable. I want to go to that school. Again, I must be a terrible snob. *UPDATE* It is actually "Where you at? Where you going to?")

Or maybe... Maybe this woman is researching the online university to send her PARTNER to it! But then why online? Oh, I know. Because the partner is so supportive that he/she will stay home to assist with the baby. OK. That makes me feel much better. But then why isn't the partner pictured in the ad, draped over her shoulder, looking wistfully at the computer screen too?

Looking very pleased with herself, she started emptying a small trash receptacle into a white plastic bag. She scooped up Harry's condom wrapper from the carpet.

"The longer you take to find a place, the more time you have to exploit your thirties," she continued. "Or what's left of them!"

Suddenly, I had an anxious knot in the arch of my foot.

"You need to figure out a strategy." She paused. "When is your period due?"

Is it that obvious?

"Next week," I said. "Maybe sonner." This is a drawback of getting naked on the job. You have no privacy! Your co-workers can actually see the extra pound or so that any normal woman would be able to hide under her business-casual tunic.

"Well, take some dolomite, stay off the salt, and turn that real estate broker into your willing pawn," she advised. "And avoid premenstrual temper tamtrums—you know that's when you're most likely to say something you'll regret. Sound body, sound mind, sound relationship. Or somehing like that."

From Tracy Quan's Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl

The morning had gotten off to a terrible start. When she'd reached under the bathroom sink for her tampons, she'd found an empty box, bearing only plastic wrappers and the rattling remnants of a single tampon applicator. "Maggie!" she'd yelled. And Maggie, who'd been asleep, had rummaged through her purse and tossed Rose a single Slender Regular by way of consolation. "Where did all my Supers go?" Rose had demanded. Maggie had just shrugged. Rose would have to buy more at the airport, assuming she could shake Simon Stein for long enough . . .

They got to the gate a full forty-five minutes before boarding would commence. Perfect, thought Rose, and dropped her stuff on a chair. "Listen, I'm just going to run to the newsstand," she said, and was relieved when Simon nodded and opened up a copy of ESPN: The Magazine. It was ridiculous, she knew, but she'd never been one of those women who could simply plop a box of Kotex Super Plus on top of her lettuce and turkey breast at the grocery store and stand, unfliching, as some teenage guy scanned her groceries. No indeed. Her tampons had to be purchased at the same CVS, and she'd lurk in the aisles until she could be guaranteed no line and a female clerk. It was no big deal, she knew (and certainly Amy and Maggie had told her), but for some reason she was always embarrassed buying them. Probably because when she got her period, her father had been so completely freaked out he'd left her in the bathroom, bleeding onto wadded-up toilet paper, for three hours, until Sydelle returned from her Jazzercise class with a box of sanitary napkins. Maggie, she'd remembered, had waited patiently on the other side of the door, pumping Rose for information.

"What's going on in there?" she'd asked.

"I've become a woman," Rose had replied from her perch on the edge of the bathtub. "Yay me."

From In Her Shoes, by Jennifer Weiner

I finally won Dittie bowling! Woo-hoo!

I finally realized that the different women have different strength/curve ratios, and I needed to pick a different gal. That helped, but it still took me an embarrassingly long time to win.

I hope I get my free samples soon. I'll be sure to report back on how they are.

Really, dittie bowling is an ingenious marketing technique. I have never played a flash game for that long. If I hadn't been trying to get free stuff, I wouldn't have kept playing long after I got bored with it. I'm sure that, as a new company, they'd love to just give me free samples. However, by making me look at the word "dittie" on the pin clearing machine countless times, they've permanently etched their brand name into my retinas.

In the business section of my local paper today, there is an article about "Ditties". Seems that a woman living in my (rather affluent) area decided that feminine products were just too "common"-looking ("not one box of tampons, pads or pantiliners had an ounce of style!") and wished to create "the first premium feminine protection."

Visit the site for some laughs... to read the "Dittie Pledge", and participate in other activities! Join the Dittie Sorority! (Personally, I'm still trying to think how Mensie & Friends could work... I like "Mensie" better than "Dittie")

Feel like getting your game on? Throw down at our online Tampon Bowling lanes and win free Dittie tampons delivered to your door!

Dittie is dedicated to kicking taboos to the curb by creating a network of girls and women who are proud to buy, wear and share their Ditties. So spread the vibe, walk with pride and pass your Ditties on!

Truth be told... these Ditties do look pretty stylin'.

State-by-state rankings came out on Friday which show how healthy different states are for women. It's based on things like percentage of women with health insurance, whether or not insurance will cover things like mammograms and Pap smears, access to reproductive medical care, and economic realities such as paid family leave.

The sad thing is, the top eight states (Minnesota, Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Hawaii, Colorado, and Utah) only got a grade of "satisfactory minus." The best we can do is not quite satisfactory? Then you've got 37 unsatisfactory states, and six states that are abysmal (Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, West Virginia, Oklahoma, and Texas). (Yes, that does add up to 51—they're including D.C.)

How do we as a country compare? I mean, I'm happy to live in the U.S. as compared to, say, a country where female circumcision or marriage for 9-year-olds is commonplace, but compared to the rest of the western industrialized world? Countries with universal health care?

Interestingly, yesterday Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry declared this week to be National Women's Health Week in Oklahoma. (How can you declare a national event to be taking place in your state? I declare that today is Tuesday in the not-so-fresh household! And later this month, I declare that it will be Memorial Day in my state!) According to the Okla. State Dept. of Health, "Women spend so much time taking care of others that they sometimes neglect to take care of themselves." Oh, that's what's wrong with health care in Oklahoma! It's not access to insurance or contraceptives, it's those selfless Oklahoman women nurturing themselves to death! The OSDH is making available a tip sheet for women, which includes advice such as eat vegetables, wear sunscreen, get a bone density screening by age 50, get a mammogram, and get a Pap smear. And who, pray tell, is going to pay for that Pap smear?

Were you starting to doubt it?
Read about Teresa Heinz Kerry's near-abortion experience.
To me, she is the bravest woman in US politics for the way she is handling this.
(via Fark)

In my local paper today, there are two "similar" articles separated by another article (to make the difference between said two articles less obvious, I'd suppose...)

The first, at the top of the page: "Hooters Restaurant Prepares to Open in (City)."
Then there is another, unrelated, short article as a divider.
Then, at the bottom of the page: "(City) Residents Bemoan Planned Ikea Store."

So Hooters is okay... but Ikea is not. The residents of (City) are thinking, "I'd like some chicken wings and to stare at big chests... but I'll pass on the furniture..."

Apparently, around 800 people have applied to be one of only about 100 employees at Hooters. So the residents of (City) are truly embracing the concept. But I guess if the Swede happens to be a moderately priced table, it just doesn't do it for 'em...

I've seen the "sophisticated lady" ad Unplugged talks about...

And what is interesting is that Tampax also has an ad showing a plain ol' tampon surrounded by paper-doll like dresses... and the caption reads, "If you want great leakage protection, you want Tampax... If you want a tampon that looks fancy, then cut on the dotted line."

Basically, they do up the "pearl" tampon as being pretty and sleek and smooth and all that (it is wrapped in little flowery paper.) But then with their original product, they dis all the enhancements in an attempt to sell the square-headed cardboard boring product.

Advertisers are great.

Similarly, I love how fashion magazines will have the "do and don't" type stuff, and then on the very next page, one of their models will be doing a "don't." (On one page: "Never wear a ponytail higher than the base of your ears; it looks childish" Then on the next: "Fun and flirty hair! Try tying up your ponytail higher than usual; it shows you are a playful gal!")

And then there are "don't"s that apply only to certain people. For example, there will be a photo of a busty woman with a top that is slightly fitted, but not too snug, and the caption will say, "Don't
reveal too much." Then the same shirt on a smaller-chested woman, "Do wear a nicely fitted top to show off your assets." (So a large chest is apparently "too much" but a smaller chest is "sexy"?) Then a little later, a large-busted woman wearing a looser-fitting shirt -- "Don't dress in a tent! Try a slightly fitted top to give youself shape." Oooooh! Better watch out, though, because as evidenced before, you can have too much shape if you are top-heavy. The moral of the story is that if you are a busty woman, no shirt will be appropriate, so you'd better just get reduction surgery.

I just found a funny post about a Tampax ad that's been in Seventeen Magazine. I think it's pretty funny, because seriously, if you are going to swim with or near sharks, I'm thinking you'd want to skip the expedition whenever you're on the rag. Because no tampon is waterproof.

I was trying to find a link to an ad I recently saw in a magazine that had two tampons side-by-side, like the if-man-was-tampon ad I've mentioned before. Except in this new ad, which I think is for Tampax Pearl, the tampon on the left has NO face or anthropomorphic characteristics, and the (Tampax Pearl) tampon on the right is all dolled up like a sophisticated lady, albeit a tampon lady. She looks ready to be turned into a tampon angel.

Speaking of which, whenever I think about that angel concept,
I always get the song "Undercover Angel" in my head.
Undercover angel
midnight fantasy-ee
I never had a dream that made sweet love to me...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad you have that damn song stuck in your head now, too?