tamponblog

Looking very pleased with herself, she started emptying a small trash receptacle into a white plastic bag. She scooped up Harry's condom wrapper from the carpet.

"The longer you take to find a place, the more time you have to exploit your thirties," she continued. "Or what's left of them!"

Suddenly, I had an anxious knot in the arch of my foot.

"You need to figure out a strategy." She paused. "When is your period due?"

Is it that obvious?

"Next week," I said. "Maybe sonner." This is a drawback of getting naked on the job. You have no privacy! Your co-workers can actually see the extra pound or so that any normal woman would be able to hide under her business-casual tunic.

"Well, take some dolomite, stay off the salt, and turn that real estate broker into your willing pawn," she advised. "And avoid premenstrual temper tamtrums—you know that's when you're most likely to say something you'll regret. Sound body, sound mind, sound relationship. Or somehing like that."

From Tracy Quan's Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl

The morning had gotten off to a terrible start. When she'd reached under the bathroom sink for her tampons, she'd found an empty box, bearing only plastic wrappers and the rattling remnants of a single tampon applicator. "Maggie!" she'd yelled. And Maggie, who'd been asleep, had rummaged through her purse and tossed Rose a single Slender Regular by way of consolation. "Where did all my Supers go?" Rose had demanded. Maggie had just shrugged. Rose would have to buy more at the airport, assuming she could shake Simon Stein for long enough . . .

They got to the gate a full forty-five minutes before boarding would commence. Perfect, thought Rose, and dropped her stuff on a chair. "Listen, I'm just going to run to the newsstand," she said, and was relieved when Simon nodded and opened up a copy of ESPN: The Magazine. It was ridiculous, she knew, but she'd never been one of those women who could simply plop a box of Kotex Super Plus on top of her lettuce and turkey breast at the grocery store and stand, unfliching, as some teenage guy scanned her groceries. No indeed. Her tampons had to be purchased at the same CVS, and she'd lurk in the aisles until she could be guaranteed no line and a female clerk. It was no big deal, she knew (and certainly Amy and Maggie had told her), but for some reason she was always embarrassed buying them. Probably because when she got her period, her father had been so completely freaked out he'd left her in the bathroom, bleeding onto wadded-up toilet paper, for three hours, until Sydelle returned from her Jazzercise class with a box of sanitary napkins. Maggie, she'd remembered, had waited patiently on the other side of the door, pumping Rose for information.

"What's going on in there?" she'd asked.

"I've become a woman," Rose had replied from her perch on the edge of the bathtub. "Yay me."

From In Her Shoes, by Jennifer Weiner

I finally won Dittie bowling! Woo-hoo!

I finally realized that the different women have different strength/curve ratios, and I needed to pick a different gal. That helped, but it still took me an embarrassingly long time to win.

I hope I get my free samples soon. I'll be sure to report back on how they are.

Really, dittie bowling is an ingenious marketing technique. I have never played a flash game for that long. If I hadn't been trying to get free stuff, I wouldn't have kept playing long after I got bored with it. I'm sure that, as a new company, they'd love to just give me free samples. However, by making me look at the word "dittie" on the pin clearing machine countless times, they've permanently etched their brand name into my retinas.

In the business section of my local paper today, there is an article about "Ditties". Seems that a woman living in my (rather affluent) area decided that feminine products were just too "common"-looking ("not one box of tampons, pads or pantiliners had an ounce of style!") and wished to create "the first premium feminine protection."

Visit the site for some laughs... to read the "Dittie Pledge", and participate in other activities! Join the Dittie Sorority! (Personally, I'm still trying to think how Mensie & Friends could work... I like "Mensie" better than "Dittie")

Feel like getting your game on? Throw down at our online Tampon Bowling lanes and win free Dittie tampons delivered to your door!

Dittie is dedicated to kicking taboos to the curb by creating a network of girls and women who are proud to buy, wear and share their Ditties. So spread the vibe, walk with pride and pass your Ditties on!

Truth be told... these Ditties do look pretty stylin'.

State-by-state rankings came out on Friday which show how healthy different states are for women. It's based on things like percentage of women with health insurance, whether or not insurance will cover things like mammograms and Pap smears, access to reproductive medical care, and economic realities such as paid family leave.

The sad thing is, the top eight states (Minnesota, Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Hawaii, Colorado, and Utah) only got a grade of "satisfactory minus." The best we can do is not quite satisfactory? Then you've got 37 unsatisfactory states, and six states that are abysmal (Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, West Virginia, Oklahoma, and Texas). (Yes, that does add up to 51—they're including D.C.)

How do we as a country compare? I mean, I'm happy to live in the U.S. as compared to, say, a country where female circumcision or marriage for 9-year-olds is commonplace, but compared to the rest of the western industrialized world? Countries with universal health care?

Interestingly, yesterday Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry declared this week to be National Women's Health Week in Oklahoma. (How can you declare a national event to be taking place in your state? I declare that today is Tuesday in the not-so-fresh household! And later this month, I declare that it will be Memorial Day in my state!) According to the Okla. State Dept. of Health, "Women spend so much time taking care of others that they sometimes neglect to take care of themselves." Oh, that's what's wrong with health care in Oklahoma! It's not access to insurance or contraceptives, it's those selfless Oklahoman women nurturing themselves to death! The OSDH is making available a tip sheet for women, which includes advice such as eat vegetables, wear sunscreen, get a bone density screening by age 50, get a mammogram, and get a Pap smear. And who, pray tell, is going to pay for that Pap smear?

Were you starting to doubt it?
Read about Teresa Heinz Kerry's near-abortion experience.
To me, she is the bravest woman in US politics for the way she is handling this.
(via Fark)

In my local paper today, there are two "similar" articles separated by another article (to make the difference between said two articles less obvious, I'd suppose...)

The first, at the top of the page: "Hooters Restaurant Prepares to Open in (City)."
Then there is another, unrelated, short article as a divider.
Then, at the bottom of the page: "(City) Residents Bemoan Planned Ikea Store."

So Hooters is okay... but Ikea is not. The residents of (City) are thinking, "I'd like some chicken wings and to stare at big chests... but I'll pass on the furniture..."

Apparently, around 800 people have applied to be one of only about 100 employees at Hooters. So the residents of (City) are truly embracing the concept. But I guess if the Swede happens to be a moderately priced table, it just doesn't do it for 'em...

I've seen the "sophisticated lady" ad Unplugged talks about...

And what is interesting is that Tampax also has an ad showing a plain ol' tampon surrounded by paper-doll like dresses... and the caption reads, "If you want great leakage protection, you want Tampax... If you want a tampon that looks fancy, then cut on the dotted line."

Basically, they do up the "pearl" tampon as being pretty and sleek and smooth and all that (it is wrapped in little flowery paper.) But then with their original product, they dis all the enhancements in an attempt to sell the square-headed cardboard boring product.

Advertisers are great.

Similarly, I love how fashion magazines will have the "do and don't" type stuff, and then on the very next page, one of their models will be doing a "don't." (On one page: "Never wear a ponytail higher than the base of your ears; it looks childish" Then on the next: "Fun and flirty hair! Try tying up your ponytail higher than usual; it shows you are a playful gal!")

And then there are "don't"s that apply only to certain people. For example, there will be a photo of a busty woman with a top that is slightly fitted, but not too snug, and the caption will say, "Don't
reveal too much." Then the same shirt on a smaller-chested woman, "Do wear a nicely fitted top to show off your assets." (So a large chest is apparently "too much" but a smaller chest is "sexy"?) Then a little later, a large-busted woman wearing a looser-fitting shirt -- "Don't dress in a tent! Try a slightly fitted top to give youself shape." Oooooh! Better watch out, though, because as evidenced before, you can have too much shape if you are top-heavy. The moral of the story is that if you are a busty woman, no shirt will be appropriate, so you'd better just get reduction surgery.

I just found a funny post about a Tampax ad that's been in Seventeen Magazine. I think it's pretty funny, because seriously, if you are going to swim with or near sharks, I'm thinking you'd want to skip the expedition whenever you're on the rag. Because no tampon is waterproof.

I was trying to find a link to an ad I recently saw in a magazine that had two tampons side-by-side, like the if-man-was-tampon ad I've mentioned before. Except in this new ad, which I think is for Tampax Pearl, the tampon on the left has NO face or anthropomorphic characteristics, and the (Tampax Pearl) tampon on the right is all dolled up like a sophisticated lady, albeit a tampon lady. She looks ready to be turned into a tampon angel.

Speaking of which, whenever I think about that angel concept,
I always get the song "Undercover Angel" in my head.
Undercover angel
midnight fantasy-ee
I never had a dream that made sweet love to me...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad you have that damn song stuck in your head now, too?

So I just got back from having dinner with my mom.

It was a nice dinner. Lots of food. Tasty.

But then in the parking lot of the restaurant, my baby started having hiccups. And then he kicked me in my stomach. And I started feeling queasy as I frequently do after eating...

So I stayed near the flowerbeds towards the side of the restaurant and... uh... did my thing. I thought I was okay, so moved back towards my mom's car. Once inside and belted, I realized I wasn't done. "Oh crap!" I exclaimed as my clean shirt became not-so-clean (not to be confused with our friend not-so-fresh!) I then looked at my mom because I don't think she's ever heard me utter the word "crap."

Fortunately, everything was on my shirt and not on the car.

After doing a little clean-up and more flowerbed action, we left and I was fine...

But upon exiting the car, I realized that I had peed all over my mom's nice leather seats.*

Was this subconscious revenge for the frustration I had towards my mother recently?

Really, she is a very sweet woman. Taking me to dinner tonight was lovely... And I was a very bad person for peeing in her car. (I had done it once or twice before, but at age 3 or so.)

The hot water gods got me back, though, because I was looking forward to a nice warm bath tonight - but I forgot that running the washing machine for my soiled clothes would leave me with a cold shower instead.

But I am clean. My clothes will soon be clean. And I think my mom's car will be okay (I toweled it down once I realized the problem.)

*Pregnancy stress-induced incontinence is such that sometimes you really don't realize that the pad you are wearing didn't actually absorb your sins while you were vomiting / coughing / laughing, etc.

Has anyone here tried the birth control patch?

I'm thinking its got to be pretty cool... except I wonder if it really sticks on as well as they claim. I fear I'd be tempted to play with it and pull it off.

And then, if it is so adhesive, how difficult is it to remove?

One of the FAQs on the site regards how to clean a dirt ring around the patch. That sounds kinda nasty.

"I" statements are tricky little things, because it is easy for them to make a person sound weak and/or whiny; the problem CJ was having. The trick with I-s is to make sure that when you use them, you use them to say things that you otherwise would have avoided saying outright.

For the sake of conversation, I will use CherryJello's I-statements from her post (referenced above) as an example. She did a good job at using I-s to explain to her mother her reaction to her mother's suggestions:
"I am feeling overwhelmed by so much information..."
But the beauty of the I-s is that it's a great way to say what you really mean without sugar-coating it. CJ isn't just overwhelmed. She has "been growing resentful" towards her mother's constant advice. And that is the information she wants to get across to her mother, not just that she's overwhelmed. Feeling overwhelmed is just a symptom of the constant advice-getting thing.

The reason I-statements were invented were as a way of communicating needs or feelings in a way that does not put the listener on the defensive. Keeping this intent in mind is a great way to break out from the constant "I-ness" and feel okay about maybe throwing in a few "you"s.
Here's what CJ wanted to say, according to her post:
I feel that you don't respect me when you continue to give me advice when I've made it clear that I haven't wanted to read what the experts say.
But she knew it would put her mother on the defensive.

So, what to say?
Before addressing anything else, always thank people for giving advice. People rarely bother to give advice unless they mean to improve a situation, and that's a nice sentiment, in its way. Don't imply you'll use the advice, though, unless you are sure you will.
Thanks for your advice and for the book.

OK, on to the issue.
First, defense breeds defense. To avoid being defensive, figure out what the intent of the speaker is, not just the words. In this example, it seems that CJ's mom has some kind of concern about discipline - maybe she sees her daughter struggling and is trying to help, or maybe she's poking her nose where it doesn't belong. or maybe something in-between. Figuring out the speaker's intent gives you something to focus on, instead of reacting to the words.
It sounds to me like you're concerned about the way I'm disciplining my child.

Second, validate her intent. This is also good for heading off defensiveness, but stay non-committal.
I appreciate you trying to help me out by reading up on this stuff.

Third, remember the old cliche about a good offense. Address the intent and concern. Mom concerned about discipline? Tell her how you do it; explain your method. If you don't have one, come up with one you want her to use that will be compatible with what you've been doing so far. Tell her something that makes it clear that you are in control and re-asserts her role as an advice-giver and a helper.
While I'm still trying to work out what will be best for my family, I've found that that I do tend to be consistent about [insert discipline method here], and it would be great if you could help me out by reinforcing that consistency by doing the same.

See? I-statements! But so assertive!
I know this didn't directly address the whole reading-of-the-book, but I kind of think that gets covered when you take the book and thank her for it and change the subject. If she pushes you on it, you could just be like, I'll take a look at it. And hey, maybe it's good reading for next time you're on the crapper.
I know this (discover, validate, address Intent) method can work with many issues or arguments or confrontations, but I have to say that it seems like it would be difficult to keep a clear enough head to implement this in a situation as emotionally charged as a mother-daughter confrontation regarding child-rearing. I know that I DO use this style with my own mother who is constantly giving me all sorts of advice, and it has really helped our relationship. Less screaming and crying.

That said, I think CherryJello is incredibly patient with her mother. I'm not sure, but I suspect that if I had kids and my mother were to announce to me that she had begun to use a "particular disciplinary technique" with my son (without asking me first) and that she then proceeded to encourage me to change to that technique, I'd probably be all, "Bitch, step off! You had your chance twenty years ago! No grandson privileges for a week!"
I would so ground her ass.

Omigod, you guys, did I fix the comments? I think I did. If I did, leave a comment to this post telling me so. If not, post and tell me no.

So why am I buying maternity clothes 8 weeks before my due date?

(Well, window shopping... I have the urge to buy, but am trying to talk myself out of it... but of course I didn't talk myself out of some capri jeans, some khaki cargo pants, and a bathing suit because, well, you have to have those essentials for summertime!)

Does it make any sense whatsoever that I am bored to death with all the maternity clothes I have, so now I am buying MORE, even though this kid could possibly arrive early?

My silly logic is that I'll be wearing maternity clothes for awhile after the baby is born, so what does it matter? Well, the first thing that happens after giving birth is that you never want to see maternity clothes again. So there. So you go shopping for stretchy sweats-like stuff that wouldn't have exactly fit while pregnant, but is forgiving enough to fit immediately post-baby... and is very quickly deemed "too frumpy" to wear again, aside from to bed. Yes! Go buy more clothes! (Of course the newborn phase of not having enough time to do anything can greatly reduce the buying of "transition" clothes.)

And then there is the interesting fact that the maternity clothes from my first pregnancy are still in my shed. How lame can you be, CherryJello? HOW LAME?

So in the next couple days, I'll go "organize" the shed, and in so doing, unearth the maternity clothes that are WAY AT THE BACK and unpack them. Yes, unpack them, while I am busy packing the rest of the house (we are moving in a month.)

However, by discovering my old maternity clothes anew, perhaps it will curb my desire to go out and buy new ones!

Right... who am I kidding?

UPDATE: I was watching A Baby Story today (which is a really stupid show for a pregnant woman to watch, but I watch it, plus Discovery Health shows like "Babies: Special Delivery" and "Birth Day") ... and the lady who was just days from her due date went shopping at A Pea in a Pod. That is a pricey place for last minute shopping! Moral is: I guess I am not alone.

(Incidentally, this chick ended up getting induced at 5:30am and was fully dilated at 8:20am. She pushed for maybe 30 minutes before the baby arrived. SUCH LUCK!)

Why is it that when I buy something, it is on sale the next day?

Why is it that I'll wait, like, a week to buy something to see if I really want it..
And to see if maybe it will go on sale..
And then I decide I want it...
But then it doesn't go on sale until the salesperson has already rung up the purchase?

Or, it goes on sale, but alas - no more in my size!?

Not-so-fresh... do you have an update on the bridal shower? (Re games, other details) I am curious! :)

Since we've been given the go-ahead to talk about stuff other than actual tampons and female bodily functions, I'll talk about an aspect of the whole females being so worried about interpersonal relationships thing. I don't think we want to go on a total male vs. female rant-slant for this blog, but I do find it interesting the way some women (me) are so concerned about what others think that we end up being kinda wimpy about it... and yet we are catty and hold grudges too, so there is a discrepancy.

Anyway, one annoying "suggestion" that many "professionals" make to improve communication is to use "I" statements, instead of making accusatory statements about the other person. I am always using "I" statements, but they backfire!

Recently, my mom has been particularly "helpful" in giving "advice." She has been pushing various childcare books on me for the past few weeks and I have been growing resentful. One day after spending the day with my son, she told me that she had used a particular disciplinary technique that was listed in one of the books. She instructed me to read a particular chapter so that I could continue the "system" that she had already set up. I finally said something along the lines of, "I am feeling overwhelmed by so much information. I would like to take a break from reading what the experts say. I feel that by having so much information, I am unable to determine what is best for me and my family, so I would prefer to step-back for awhile."

So my mom says something like, "You shouldn't be so overwhelmed." and chortles. "You are the only one who can stress yourself out. Don't be so sensitive!"

I wanted to respond "I feel that you don't respect me when you continue to give me advice when I've made it clear that I haven't wanted to read what the experts say." Yes, that would have been an "I" statement, but I didn't make it because in the past, my mom has responded, "You are the only one who can make yourself feel bad because you decide how you react to others, so if you think that I am not respecting you, then it is your problem."

(15 minutes later, my mom gave me several more articles and attempted to give me a huge book. I told her "If I need the book, I'll know where to find it. I am not taking it home. You can keep it." She responded, "Yes, I know all about your stress", shaking her head, "but this stuff works...")

The "I" statement is so wimpy because it does imply that the problem is completely in the speaker's head. And yet I continue to use 'em in the hopes that I am not insulting anyone when I have a problem with someone else's actions.

Ah, yes. The what-to-wear-in-hot-weather-but-cold-A/C debate.

I don't like sleeveless knit shirts because of the whole twinset issue. My breasts are too large to wear the accompanying sweater (the buttons pull terribly - and if I get the next size up, the rest of the sweater is too tent-like), so I typically only wear the shell.

And then I freeze.

So I'll have some sort of other (heavier, not button-up) sweater lying around the office to put on. That means that I am wearing too much. I don't look "put together" properly and look way out of season.

One summer, I would wear sundresses (appropriate to the office), but I'd perspire so much en route to the office that when the A/C hit me inside, I would be absolutely frozen to the point of shaking. So I would fill up an empty coke can with hot water from the coffee machine. I'd stick that between my thighs (no, not too high up) in such a way that it wasn't visible amidst the skirt of my dress. This little portable heater worked its purpose fairly well, actually.

But in terms of looking fashionable while also being comfortable, the closest I've come is to have a tan/khaki, navy or black blazer lying around the office - slap that on over the summery shell to look "passable" while inside, then remove before heading outside. This is similar to what the men do -- they have their lightweight button-up shirt that can be layered with a sport coat if needed. But of course the men have the temperature set just-right anyway because their body heat is so much more efficient than ours. (And yet we have a higher fat percentage -- figure that one out!)

Why is it that sleeveless knit shirts are so popular/pervasive for offices? I feel like they are the only option for summer office wear - or, at least, the only option available in stores. And they aren't always the best option in an office; when the thermostat is set to make men feel comfortable (and there is no such thing as an office-appropriate men's sleeveless shirt), that means it's too cold for us to wear just the sleeveless shirt.

I know, I know, hence the twin-set. But then sometimes the long sleeves are too much. Or the two layers are too much.

Am I right, or am I right? I think this merits some discussion, as we would be hard-pressed to discuss only menstruation every day.

A 12 1/2 pound baby!?

See now I am having serious nightmares. Gosh, my 7 1/2 pound baby caused me to get "lots of drugs and lots of getting cut up". A vacuum-extraction isn't pretty - not at the time, and not 3 years later. The delivery of my first son pretty much ruined everything down there - so now my uterus is prolapsed and I can't hold my pee. Do your kegels, women! :)

UPDATE: Upon thinking about it (yes, I was actually thinking about this whole thing), if there had been meconium for a 12 1/2 pound baby, then they would have probably done a c-section, so no pelvic-floor injury there!

I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and my water broke at just shy of six months and when it did, I wondered whether or how I should check for meconium (thanks a lot, CherryJello), but then I decided I had bigger problems because I was so incredibly premature, and the baby was already the size of Kevin Sorbo's kid, and I was going to need lots of drugs and lots of getting cut up.

So really, the meconium part added some levity to the dream, I guess.
And as far as a real-life 12 lbs., 6 oz. baby goes, well, that's what you get when you get knocked up by Hercules.

Writing about colored tampons and how I wouldn't want the actual tampon to be colored reminded me of a conversation my Lamaze instructor had with us. She had explained that if our water breaks before we get to the hospital, that we are supposed to check the result to make sure there isn't a ton of blood or meconium. Any meconium is cause for concern, so she said to be very careful in checking. She advised not taking baths and all kinds of other stuff just to make sure our water didn't break without us being sure there was no meconium involved. She kept saying how it might be barely noticeable.

So I was sitting there in my olive-colored underthings, thinking "Since meconium can be olive colored, I might have trouble seeing it if I happen to be wearing this pair of underwear."

In that case, is it safe to stick a swab "up there" to see traces of meconium? Are there other ways to detect the meconium if it isn't clear by looking at a dark patch that might only be dark because of the color of the cotton? Dare I ask? Well, sure... being an inquisitive pregnant woman and all... and pretty much frightened by her whole explanation of why a newborn aspirating meconium is a bad thing (well, I figured that inhaling poo isn't a good thing, even before her talk.)

So my instructor looks at me like "you are nuts" and proceeds to say, "Yes, but colored panties* have a white crotch area, so obviously you will be able to tell what color your amniotic fluid is."

Except my colored underwear is 100% colored. No white crotch here. (And would I have been stupid enough to ask if I knew there was a white section? OK, it was a stupid question because I am sure I could have swabbed the underwear, etc. to check for meconium, but I was in a very trusting state given that the whole childbirth thing seemed very scary.)

I didn't want to buy all-white-underwear just a couple weeks before my due date just for this whole meconium-thing. As it turned out, I needed not worry -- my water broke in triage, and there was no meconium in sight.

But I always remember the firm voice of my instructor insisting that no underwear could possibly be colored.

* I hate the word "panties" because it seems so small. The diminutive "ies" only refers to women's underwear even though men used to be the only one wearing "pants." (Because men's is "underpants" not "tiny pants") "Boxers" on the other hand, sound studly. Of course, I am being too sensitive on this matter. :)

I was looking around the web to see if I could find a copy of a tampon ad I saw recently that showed a bunch of multi-colored oval-headed feminine products, since it seemed really funny that you could select what color you wanted that day... but instead I came across instructions for making a tampon angel.

Here is the poem that accompanies the instructions:
I'm your little visiting angel, pretty as a swan.
I'll decorate your tree or wreath from dusk until the dawn.
I know that every month you'll think of me and put a smile on!
I'll even be hanging around when you crave a box of bon bons.
Now I guess you've figured out, and no, you're not wrong...
Someone found out another use for a playtex tampon!

UPDATE: Here's more tampon art.

UPDATE #2: I found what I was originally looking for -- Beyond by Playtex. It isn't as cool as I had originally thought. The paper advertisement shows all the pastel colored tampon applicators together, so I figured it was a box filled with multi-colored product, all the same except for color. Actually, each color is a different absorbancy. So really, you choose your color by how much absorbancy you need, not what color suits your mood. Darn. The applicator looks nicely rounded and really sleek... If I weren't an o.b. girl, then perhaps I would consider this product. If the product came in vibrant colors like cobalt blue or a deep purple I would try the product anyway. Pastel is cutsey, but richer colors would be nice. (Yes, I know why they wouldn't do a deep-red product... And yes, I know the colors are only on the applicator, not on the actual tampon, but that is still cooler than having the colors only on the wrapper. If the actual tampon were colored, I'd pretty much run the other direction.)

My son doesn't just expect candy if he pees. He pretty much compliments me and my husband if we sit on the toilet and has offered us candy. This has died down a bit since his enthusiasm for the potty has died down, but on occasion he'll clap and cheer, "Good job, Mommy!" if he sees me doing my business. Of course, watching my husband pee is a great deal more entertaining, and watching my son try to mimic my husband by standing up (typically without standing on the stool, which means he is way too short) is pretty amusing. He pretty thinks his penis is silly putty the way he tries to bend it up and over the edge of the bowl.

*gross alert* One time, my son was using the big toilet and I was having a particularly nasty bout of morning sickness, so I threw up in his little potty, which was sitting next to the toilet. My son grinned wide and clapped, saying, "Oh, good job Mommy! Good job for pooing in the potty!"

That is the heading on this ad for tampons, referenced a few days ago in a post by not-so-fresh. I'm captivated by this declaration. Just what is Dr. White implying? Is he talking about the shape of a man's entire body, or just of his penis? Like, if men had square-topped heads, we wouldn't date them? What does that say for the buzz-cut? Or does he mean we wouldn't get near square penises?

I'm fascinated by the possibilities.

I told my father about your son's claims of "It's broken!" in order to get candy for using the potty.
My father said, "Wait, you mean I can get candy for doing that? Does your mother know about this?"

I might have created a problem.

Interested in writing for tamponblog? That's great! In order for tamponblog to be what it is, we want women writers who write with some adherence to traditional writing conventions. Most of our sentences are complete, most of our words spelled/used correctly.  In the world of blogging, that's not for everyone.
The blogosphere takes all kinds, but we don't have to.
For the most part, we may not know a potential poster personally, so we'll be looking to your other blogs, comments, and/or anywhere else that you point us for a writing sample. 

Here are a few things we look for in potential posters:
~ Sentences with beginnings and ends.  (We are not partial to ... ellipses.  They make posts difficult to read.)
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Overall, we do not extend invitations lightly.  Avid commenters who show consistent mastery of language and thought may very well be offered an invitation.
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